Do you know when to stop?

​I was recently invited to attend a social meeting of a professional group to which I belong. I had mixed feelings about the event; it was in a town I didn’t know, it was at the end of a very long day and at a time when I particularly like to be at home because it is the start of my weekend. That was the downside.  The upside was that I really enjoy being with the people who were attending and I knew I would enjoy their company. I also felt that, wanting to be a good team member, it was important that I attend...

Mindful of the fact that I had made a commitment to attend the event, I decided I would approach it in a good spirit, despite the fact that as it came round to the time I had to leave, I was feeling very tired and unsociable.

I drove to the general location, got hopelessly lost and subsequently very cross. After about 25 minutes of being lost and cross, I decided to give up and go home. I phoned a colleague, who was already at the venue, and told her I wouldn’t be there after all. She started to give me directions, but I knew by that time I was in no mood to be sociable, so I apologised again and said I was going home.

Once I got home I felt a tremendous sense of relief. Of course, with hindsight, it’s clear to see that I never should have gone in the first place. Before I even set off, I knew the event wasn’t the right thing for me just at that time, but I didn’t want to let the team down by not going.

Selfishness is not an attitude to be cultivated, in my opinion, but neither is it sensible or healthy to put everyone else first.

Many of my clients come to me because they live their lives thinking they are capable of a lot less than they really are; others go around taking on far too much without the time or the physical resources to do what they have said they will do. Neither approach is going to contribute to living your life in the most fulfilling way.

Know yourself, know your strengths, trust your instincts and know when it is right for you to say “yes” and when it is right for you to say “no”.